Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
