if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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