is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
