I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize