the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
