And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
