Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
