Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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