So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize