She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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