I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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