she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
