I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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