don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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