I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
