i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
