At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
