look no pants
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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