I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
