You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
