i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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