i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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