I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
