Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
