Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
