and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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