Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
