the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Randomize