I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
