its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
