i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
