I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
