His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
