if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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