so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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