I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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