Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
