i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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