dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
