Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
