If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
