spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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