WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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