My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
