the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
