i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
