There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
