Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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