I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
