i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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