My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
