Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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