I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
