I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize