I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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