SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
