I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
