Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
fuck your aforementioned shoe
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
