Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
