my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
