You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize