sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
