i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
