the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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