so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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