thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
