hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
