i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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