are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize