I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
