Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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