you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He better not be in your backpack
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
