I don't usually arrange sex via text message
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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