worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
