Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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