thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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