i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
