I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize