their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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