I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
